No Butts About It - A McRoll in the REAL World story
by Mari217
Summary: A minor injury injury leads to both some TLC and amusement.


_Sammy and Ilna, I've long since run out of ways to say you are family and I couldn't bear to think of my life without you guys in it. Love you to the moon and back._

 _#REALMcRollers you make us smile with every bit of feedback and love. Thank you always!_

* * *

 **No Butts About It**

Steve eased out of the truck with a grimace and twisted slightly to inspect the back right side of his pants. Brushing his hand down the stain on his leg, he shrugged and continued on to the house.

Catherine was standing just inside the door and was in his arms immediately. "You ok?"

"Yeah." He held her for a heartbeat, feeling her smile.

She pulled back and he removed his weapon to kneel and greet Cammie, who carefully sniffed his cargoes and nuzzled his face until he stood.

Catching Catherine's eyes, he said, "I'm good, promise."

She knew he was. She'd spoken to him and Danny when he was with the EMTs after a fall through a rotting floor had left him a story down in an abandoned apartment building. "I like to see for myself." Her nose wrinkled as she made a spinning motion with her hand.

"Catherine, I'm …" He huffed a sigh and spun. "Flesh wound. Butterflies, no stitches." He looked down at the bloodstain and back at his wife. "Okay?"

She smiled again, happy he was fine, relieved to have him there to tease. With a hand on her tummy she nodded. "Niblet insists I make sure her daddy is one hundred percent."

His grin was huge as he pointed between her tummy and her face. "You're tag teaming me with our daughter already?"

Her nod was definite. "Absolutely."

He chuckled. "I'm in a world of trouble then. That's gonna be two pairs of eyes I'll never be able to resist."

She took his hand and pulled him to the sofa. "Good, cause I need to see the wound."

"I really am …" he began.

"...fine. I know," she finished his oft repeated phrase. "Drop 'em, Commander."

He shook his head with a smirk and unfastened his belt. "One of my favorite phrases to hear from you. Anytime, Lieutenant."

She closed the curtains, flipped on the lamp and sat while he remained standing. "Let me see." She examined the bandaged four by six area behind his right thigh.

"We got the guy," he prefaced. Satisfaction at the team's apprehension of the volatile criminal was in his eyes and Catherine's love and pride in him were clear in hers. He gave her a tiny smile of thanks even as he repeated, "It really is a flesh wound."

"So you said." She touched the back of his thigh. "That's really close to your butt. Danny have a field day with that?" She patted his boxer-clad bottom and stood.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "You mean once he realized I was bleeding and wouldn't let me in the car?"

"That's not true," she teased.

"Okay." He shrugged. "But once he knew I was fine he did make me sit on a towel the rest of the day in case it started to bleed through the bandage."

"That I believe." She took his discarded pants. "I'm gonna toss these. Go shower and I'll rebandage that."

"Toss 'em? The hole's fixable."

"They're old. Besides, the knee is torn through." She held them up to prove her point, and he moved towards the stairs with a grin of acquiescence.

* * *

Catherine entered the bathroom and shook her head. "What are you doing?"

He didn't turn from where he was squatting, wearing one towel around his waist and swiping another over the shower floor. "Making sure there're no glass or wood splinters."

"I can do that."

"I know." He stood. "But what if there's a piece and you stepped on it barefoot? You're carrying extra weight, Cath, you don't need an injured foot." He shook the towel over the trash, satisfied it was empty.

"Awww, okay, I'll give you that one." She kissed him and opened the first aid box he'd placed on the counter. "Let's dress that."

"I can …" he began but her raised brow had him quietly turning and dropping his towel as she ripped off a piece of first aid tape.

"Hold the roll," she instructed and placed a gauze bandage over the area that had several layers of missing skin and a slice at the upper edges closed with two butterflies. Once she had it secure she grinned and stood. "All set."

He wrapped her in an embrace. "Thanks." His voice dropped. "I think I may need some special first aid, though."

"That so?" She dropped her hands to his butt. "You are dressed for it."

He grinned at her pun and scooped her up to head for their bed. "That makes one of us."

She laughed. "I may be getting a little hard to lift soon."

"Seriously?" He kissed her and placed her gently on the mattress. He'd lifted her as if she were weightless.

"Yeah, okay, maybe not," she agreed, pulling him down. "Now, how about I administer that first aid?"

* * *

Steve's phone rang just as his breathing returned to normal and he pushed against the headboard to sit up.

"Hi Uncle Steve, we saw you guys on the news." Jacob's excited voice garnered a smile as Steve hit speaker so Catherine could hear as well. "Can you sit down okay?"

Catherine grinned as he dropped his head.

"I'm fine, buddy," he said. "Just a scratch."

"Good, Uncle Danny's here to pick up Kaitlyn so they can meet Grace after her practice and he said you were okay but you hurt your …" a laugh escaped before he finished, "butt."

"You tell Uncle Danny I'm fine enough to beat him at game night." Steve shook his head.

"'Kay. Tell Aunt Catherine hi. And Cammie. And Niblet. We're having chicken fingers for dinner and I gotta go help."

"She's right here and Cammie is wagging her tail."

"Hi Jacob." Catherine's smile grew as she added, "Niblet says hi and enjoy the chicken fingers."

"I'll save her some when she's big enough to eat 'em." They could hear him hop down from wherever he was sitting or standing. "Bye!"

"Bye," they said together and Steve grimaced as he ended the call, but the look in his eyes was one of amusement. "Of course Danny told him it was my butt."

She smirked as she stood and began to put her clothes back on. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't."

He slid out of bed and crossed to the dresser. Taking out boxers, he pulled them on and spoke from inside the t-shirt he was tugging over his head. "Hmm?"

She was beside him, smirk still firmly in place. "Not only do I think it's the best butt on the island..." she raised an eyebrow, "but if you can't lie on your back or sit with my, ahem, advancing weight on …"

He caught on and a smile lit his eyes as he chuckled. "We'd be even more limited?"

She nodded and leaned up to kiss him. "Good thing we're resourceful."

"Nothing's stopped us yet, Lieutenant." He smiled into her kiss.

Catherine's hands slid over her belly before reaching around to Steve's backside to pull him flush against her. "And nothing ever will, Commander." Her face glowed as she beamed up at him. "Nothing ever will."

 _End_

 _Thanks for reading_

* * *

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